From the beginning I found matrimonial law to be a great challenge - the challenge is to see if you can have a reasonably happy client who is optimistic about the future when the process is completed. And that of course is not easy in our field.
The truth is that, in most divorce cases, the primary fight is about money. It's hard to argue with the numbers in a divorce case - but it's easy to argue with the other side over how to allocate them. That's why it's important to know who the other side is - and get everyone to sit down together. As long as the other side isn't willfully trying to derail the process, we can usually work through it. But attorneys can sometimes be an impediment to a resolution. So one of the first things I do is find out who the other spouse's attorney is. Just by doing that, I can often tell how long the case is going to take, and how difficult it is going to be.
The level of emotion in any divorce has a way of impacting the quality of decisions people make. Part of our job, as attorneys, is to ensure that decisions are made for sound reasons, based on facts and real needs, rather than on the emotion of the moment. Clients will tell me, "Oh, I'm fine, I've got a good support network." Yet an intense level of emotion is still there. It's still a very emotional time.
My clients are the driver to a case -- I am their advisor and their foot soldier. Every case is a partnership, and I make sure that we work well and closely together. With these principles being fundamental to my own personal philosophy, it makes me well suited to represent clients as a collaborative practitioner. I suggest to all of my clients that they consider resolving their divorce in the collaborative process prior to opting for the litigation route.
As a young lawyer, I've faced some challenges. Assumptions are always going to be made about you when you're young. An older judge or an old-school attorney is going to test you. Of the major players in Nassau County, many of them know me by now. Some of the older attorneys will still try to push you around. I'm not a confrontational person. I'm conciliatory, and always try to be reasonable. At the same time I always defend my client's interests very firmly. I think most of the legal community knows that. I won't be intimidated. I'm known for being tough when I have to be.
I think part of my success is that I make the tools available to all my clients. I refer them to the right counseling professionals, if they need it, and I educate them about the law and the likeliest scenarios of their case. All of my clients get through the process - and through all of it they are building hope for their future.
